I am trying to understand why I am so angry with what seems to be something so inconsequential.
Watching A LONG WAY DOWN the programme of Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman going through Africa on their bikes
( their last trip The Long Way Round- became something of a favourite for me and my 16 year old daughter) I was spluttering with rage when Ewan announced that his wife wanted to come along. Or at least meet up and spend 2 and a half weeks biking alongside them.
Incensed.
She can't even ride a bike it seems. And Charlie Boorman looked less than happy.
It stirred up a sort of murderous rage which seemed far too strong to be just about this poor woman's wish to see her husband and share his experience. I just wanted her to let the boys have their adventure for God's Sake. In the same way that if I was going on an adventure with a friend I would not want their partner along. It changes the whole dynamic. And as Charlie said, he would feel like a spare prick.
Immediately I had her down for a needy, jealous woman, who couldn't bear not to be a part of everything in her husband's life. Did this I wonder relate to my being the lover of a married man where there are invisible boundaries (her time and my time?) Could I be so transparent?
I don't think it is about that, but I do think I have a problem with needy clingy people- men or women and that that reflects on the fact that I never would dream of asking to be included in something so obviously nothing to do with me . Interestingly my heart and affection went out to Boorman's wife, who with a collapsed lung in hospital hated the idea of her husband postponing the trip on account of her. My sort of gal. I love people, and I love my man, but I do not want to be attached at the hip; not he to mine or me to his....
Incidentally, my dreams were wonderful. Biking round Africa myself with Ewan and Boorman...
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2 comments:
I agree with (or feel the same as) your attitude. Mutual space is needed or resentment soon comes to the fore, in my experience.
And "mutual" surely is the key word: if two people are happy joined at the hip then fine, but so far that's just not me.
I do like what I've heard about the programme, I think I heard Ewan McGregor talking about it ages ago on a radio show. Trouble is I haven't got a tv :)
oh , Trousers, I am filled with admiration in so many ways that you DON"T have a TV. And yet there are just a few, very few mind you, things I think worth watching. These programmes traversing the world on bikes and getting a real sense of these countries, many that I will never visit, are those sort of programmes. And they are such likeable chaps. I wish you could see them. I watch it as much for their warm bond of friendship as I do for seeing where they end up.
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